We were watching Scrubs the other day (It's a great show). It was the new episode for the week. One thing that stood out to me was the brief conversation on the show about how a baby will change your life and how your perspective about everything changes forever. This isn't new information as everyone knows this about children whether you have children or not. For whatever reason the show made me think about that again as I often do. It's something you contemplate when you think about first having a baby, while preparing and throughout the rearing process.
What's interesting and even fun is personalizing that thought process based on your own experience. You catch yourself thinking about something and then actually putting the newer "baby spin" on whatever it is you're thinking about. I suppose I'll be somewhat less conscious of this thought process as he gets older and as I get used to the idea of being a father, although I'm pretty sure it's always there, hence the idea of "everything changes forever". The obvious life changes are easy to see coming even if you don't estimate the impact correctly or completely. It's an odd combination of mourning the loss of a sense of independence you'll never have again while celebrating the massive positive influence and change it brings. It's never ending work but it's so worth it it's difficult to describe.
The different perspective though is something I think is more individualized and less easy to comprehend from the outside. This is what Scrubs was briefly touching on. For me, the clearest example is my desire to improve my health however I can because I want to be around for as long as I can be. This is part of the reason I became a vegetarian and began looking more closely at what I put into my body. I've always maintained fairly healthy weight and tried to exercise but my attention to my overall health drastically changed once I became a father. Allison has had a lot to do with it too though. She's helped me in ways I'll never be able to repay or thank enough. Another perspective is that of having your own family. I love Allison more than ever simply because she is the mother of my son and is so good at it. Just when I didn't think I couldn't respect her more we have this great family together. The bond between us is truly remarkable and difficult to fully comprehend until it actually happened.
Even though we strive for down time and want time just to focus on us sometimes, being together as a family is the best time. And it's true, everything you think about takes your new family into consideration. You want to be a better person. The small stuff is even smaller. Personal sacrifices are less important. My sense of purpose is different in that I want Jackson to experience all the great things about life. You learn, you teach, you learn more. We often talk about all the things we want to do with Jackson and look forward to how he'll react and grow from each experience. Another example is my perspective about the surrounding world. At this point in my life I'm very confident about my ability to thrive and be truly happy in my surroundings. Now I'm thinking about what things will be like for Jackson when he's five, ten, twenty and so on. What if we have another child? What about Grandchildren some day? I want the world to be a better place for them.
It's nice seeing this topic on Scrubs, even if just for a moment. My generation is growing up. I hear and see references like this on television and in music I listen to and I feel like it's targeted directly at people like me. It's goodness.
It was a brief scene where the main character, JD, was talking with Turk and Dr. Cox about the baby his ex-girlfriend was going to have. I guess the character names are pointless if you don't watch. Anyway, Turk and Dr, Cox were telling JD about what it's like to have a child. They briefly touched on how everything changes and everything you think about changes as well.
Posted by: Steve | May 26, 2007 at 09:53 AM
What happened on Scrubs that lead you down this road? Just curious since I don't watch the show. Nice post.
Posted by: Matt | May 24, 2007 at 11:33 AM