Beginning today, I thought I would share my journey to the Mothership in a series of posts directly referencing excepts from my autobiography, "Thanks for Coming In". The Mothership is my generic reference to a corporate type job. I've been with the Mothership for almost ten years now and times have never been more difficult than they are now. Pending layoffs have people worried and feeling uneasy. Anyway, let's go back in time ten years and take a walk down memory lane....
A Guy Can Only Scoop So Many Beans
As summer winded down I was facing the pressures of getting a career going. Everybody always insists that the sooner you get a "real" job after getting a degree the better. Otherwise, you look unmotivated and slackish. Facing the whole "getting a job" thing really, really sucked for me as I'm sure it does for most. Scooping beans was getting on my nerves but I absolutely dreaded the idea of suiting up and going job hunting. All I had managed up to that point was doing my stupid resume. I really felt like I was just another jackass college graduate with no real, marketable skills. I could just hear myself in all the interviews I was facing.
“I can scoop bean real well. My strengths include discerning red from green sauce, pronouncing 'chili rellano' properly and doing a rollup so well. You could throw it against the wall as hard as you could and all the silverware would remain intact within the napkin. Oh yeah, I can kick the plastic window out of the swingy door and deliver a devastating palm thrust to a helpless drink tray, rendering it permanently bent and unusable. Plus, I'm very comfortable hiding margaritas from the management while working. Finally, blatant and direct insubordination is my specialty. You can count on me to do whatever I want, whenever I want, no matter what. Certainly you have a high paying job, strong benefits package included, with my name written all over it".
Almost everybody else was in the same boat, though. I was enjoying just working 20 or so hours a week and not having to deal with school. Growing up you always hear about how things get a lot more difficult and to enjoy life now, while it’s easy. That's a bunch of bullshit since nothing seemed more difficult than working and going to school full time for several years, with no real break. Just working without going to school was much, much easier.
Looking for a job was as unfulfilling and unrewarding as anticipated. Since I had no real plan or solid concept of what I wanted to do, I began at the school career center, which I had access to for several months after graduating. That seemed to turn up many low paying, sales type jobs. The idea of selling something was truly awful to me. Sales were definitely not my forte. A sale would likely go as follows:
“Well sir, I definitely think this product is definitely right for you.”
“I don't think so.”
“Okay, whatever, asshole.”Interviewing sucked. Some of the prospective jobs didn't appeal to me at all and a few of them paid less than my current job at Chevy's. The two or three I liked didn't grant me follow up interviews. I did have an interview for a job working at the corporate office for a retail clothing establishment doing something along the lines of product selection. I had to go to San Francisco for a daylong orientation followed by a solid day of interviewing. People from all over the country flew in for this thing. The night after orientation and before the day of interviews, I drove some of the out of town interviewees into the downtown area of San Francisco for some bar hopping. A few others took a bus and we all met at a bar on Broadway, which was the highlight of the whole experience. The interviews the next day were long, boring and draining. About one in three were going to get called back. One of the three wasn’t me.
The job thing sucked and the sucking weighed heavily on me. Chevy's was losing its appeal since the job pressure was building and I was more and more feeling like a loser. At this point, my degree was already five months old and there was still no solid strategy or budding interest in anything at all. Grown up life was waiting for me but I was running late.
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