The final installment...
Mothership Landing
My first day working at what I’ll affectionately call the “Mothership” was a half day class designed to introduce new employees to the company and show them the ropes. First, we were given a bunch of paperwork to look through and sent on our way. The admin for my department was supposed to meet me outside the classroom and show me to my desk. No such luck. All the other kids had an admin come get them but I was on my own in this gigantic mini-city comprised of many acres of buildings that all looked exactly alike. The buildings are numbered and have names based on general location in accordance to the world. We had five buildings and my present location was somewhere on the first floor of building number five. I knew from my brief conversation with my new boss a few weeks prior that my desk was somewhere in building number one, on the second floor. The other piece of information I had was my pole number, whatever the hell that was supposed to be. The pole number looked to be some kind of code that needed deciphering, part of the class I probably slept through.
A few days prior to my first day, I went to the Mothership to get some HR related paperwork with all my official benefits information and stuff. I was also supposed to meet by new boss, Becky, in the cafeteria in building number two. That was easy enough to find. Naturally, based on what had been beaten into my head going through school, I dressed in professional attire. Wearing one of my new suits, I was ready for whatever was coming in meeting my new manager. We met in a big cafeteria and Becky easily found me because I stuck out like a sore thumb. I stuck out like a sore thumb because I was the only person of the several thousands there that was wearing a suit and tie. We introduced ourselves and sat down. “There’s Andy”, Becky says to me knowing my story. My meeting with her was my first official meeting at the Mothership and still among the most interesting ever. She gave me an overview of what our department, Information Technology Marketing and Communications (IT MarComm), was and what we did. Then she asked me what I wanted to do. Hoping for some choices and not getting them, my answer was something along the lines of “Um, not sure. I don’t know.” How would I, anyway? What was done day to day, I was wondering to myself, instead of asking. She had some ideas of what my job function was going to be and attempted to explain it to me. My title was “Marketing Specialist” and I was the first one of those. Cherie created a brand new job and Becky was in charge of figuring out what it was going to be. The other key conversation we had went like this:
“Don’t ever come to work in a suit again.”
“Okay, no Problem.”
“You’re making me nervous dressed like that.”
So now let’s get back to being stranded in building number five after my orientation. For several minutes, I stood in the hallway thinking through my next move with my brand new work badge clipped to my casual clothing. The badge was to be worn at all times, while on the premises, for the rest of my life. The casual dress code was so very nice. Not having to wear a suit and tie kicked ass and I liked my job already. Also, I was making more money standing in the hall wondering where to go next than scooping beans, renting movies, flipping burgers or hosing down fiberboard particles with deadly, poisonous and contaminated pond water. Stay in school kids. Eventually, I decided to head to the general direction of building number one and try to figure out where my office was. On the way, the admin that was supposed to come get me passed right on by, but I of course didn’t realize it because we had never met.
After eventually finding where my cubicle was by deciphering the “pole number” code, I began to get settled in. My 10’ X 10’ cubicle was ready for me. I had two desks, two chairs and a big filing cabinet. I had my fancy phone and of course, the all-important computer, where most of my important work would take place. The computer was an IBM desktop PC. They called them Express boxes and I don’t know why because they were in no hurry, that’s for sure. The coolest thing of all though was my new office starter kit that was sitting on my desk. This thing had a new stapler, scotch tape dispenser, pens and all kinds of new office supplies. I love office supplies. After sniffing everything in the box at least once, I neatly organized my desk about six different times. Then I took my blank pad of paper that I brought and the binder from class and set them in the filing cabinet, causing an echo that could be heard throughout the building. Putting two things into an otherwise empty and oversized file cabinet was ridiculous. The cubical itself was old. The fabric walls were a gross kind of orange and beige combination. The cubical, carpet, desks and chairs had to be over ten years old, at least. Of course, this didn’t matter to me in the slightest.
The department admin came back after finding that I had strayed from class and found me admiring my cubical. She was out of breath and apologizing for leaving me abandoned. She immediately gave me my network login information and temporary passwords as well as showed me how to use the complex voicemail system. She quickly went elsewhere, off to do something else in a hurry. Becky was out for the afternoon so I was more or less on my own.
Most of the day was spent sitting in my chair and staring at my surroundings. After making sure it was possible to spin all the way around in my chair, which was cool, I discovered that I could sit on my desk and freely swing my legs back and forth. Pacing is a serious habit of mine when on the phone so I was pleased to see that I had plenty of phone cord. There was half dozen feet or so to walk before I had to turn around and head the other direction. My initial assessment was that I was going to be okay confined to this space for an ungodly number of hours, possibly forever. Then I rearranged my office supplies a few more times. I think I moved my trash can around a few times as well. Intimidation began to set in, as there was nothing productive for me to do right off the bat. The bigness of the whole thing was a trip. I sat there the rest of the afternoon, unsure about what to do next. Everybody that walked by my cubicle peered in out of curiosity, checking out the new person. Everybody around me was older, too.
I knew nothing about information technology but I still had all the stupid Remanco numbers in my head from Chevy’s. I did not know anything about HTML but I knew that 111 was a beef fajita. I had no clue about configuring secure I.D.’s and remote access connectoids but was certain that 42 was a Reynosa dinner combo. Could I make sense of the cc:Mail architecture and instance design? Nope. But I could list all eight Mexican beers and their respective Remanco codes from memory. This was an enormous change for me and my life was going to be different from here on out. Things were not only going to be more interesting and challenging but I also had my own, real benefits finally. Salary and a retirement plan were a new part of my life, like a grown up. A consistent paycheck was not something you got as a waiter or hourly wage employee so it was nice to be able have predictable income.
Fortunately, friends were easy to make at work, being a new member of a particularly social group. My immediate department only had about ten people in it, although hundreds of others in my building, and thousands across the campus surrounded me. Becky told me that I would be primarily working with someone named Celeste. When she introduced us, I was surprised to see that Celeste was not a black woman with a phony, although cool accent, working for Stefano. Then I remembered that “Days of Our Lives” was not real, nor was I in Salem. Celeste was very cool and quickly became my mentor. She explained things to me in detail and taught me a lot during my early days. She was easy to work and talk with. Celeste became my friend and even ended up being my manager for quite a while.
The last day of my first week at work, a group of us from the Mothership went out for happy hour. An engineering named Neil was nice enough to welcome me to the group by inviting me out for a few beers. Actually, it was more than a few beers. Neil was great and we quickly became friends. Luckily, I was beginning to fit in and get comfortable. Ann was someone else whom I became friends with quickly. Ann, like Neil, was around my age so we had several things in common. Neil, Ann and Celeste made my early days at the Mothership tolerable and it was lucky for me to be in such a fun group.
