Please Don't Talk to Me

I've attended a number of conferences for work over the years.  Going to these things can be really fun when in the mood but can also not be fun at all.  After going to a few of these a pattern starts to take shape.  It's a bit of an encapsulation of real life.  The social people quickly socialize and everyone has their usual role they play when taken out of their routine and plopped into a gathering of people they don't know.  Networking is one of the primary objectives of these things and I totally struggle with it.

Last week I went to a conference in Sacramento, motivated by the need to obtain credits to maintain a professional credential that is threatening to expire on me.  It was two days long and immediately upon arriving in the conference hall, my typical role set in.  I looked for an empty table and thank goodness I found one.  This establishes an advantage in that now people have to sit with me and I don't have to sit with them.  If I sit at a table with anyone sitting at it, I'm likely going to be expected to converse because I've engaged by sitting with them.  But, because I sat first, they are sitting with me, thus negating the need for me to engage. 

I really don't mind talking to people but many times I'd rather not.  I don't know them and will likely never see them again, so what's the point.  Once the event actually gets under way, in typical fashion, I position myself in the back of the room for the presentations.  This is an advantage for a quick escape at the end.  Also, when I have to pee a thousand times because of all the free coffee, it helps to be near the door. 

A funny thing about these conferences is the giveaway crap you insist on grabbing but have absolutely no use for.  Some of the giveaway stuff is really good, like a USB flash drive, backpack, retractable network cable.  But most of it is crap!  But we get it anyway.  Oh I simply must have ANOTHER t-shirt with a dorky company logo on it.  Yes, I really have to have the friggin slinky or mouse pad or beach ball or plastic thing that does literally nothing.  Come to think of it, I'm going to go through my desk at work and purge.  I have a lot of crap stuffed in many drawers and it simply needs to go. 

Despite my little rant, conferences are something I will often look forward to.  It's a day away from my desk that I've sat at for 235234534234532909 hours so far in my life.  It's often times travel to somewhere you have never been or somewhere you like to go.  There is an actual educational value gained.  And, sometimes, cool stuff and always free food and drinks.  Just please don't talk to me.

Comments

[Jeff]

I totally agree! Hell, I don't like talking to my own family!

[Matt]

Classic stuff. I too can't stand to talk while traveling or at a conference. Heck, I've even used the excuse, I really need to study (before I graduated) while on a business trip just to avoid going out with this tool I was traveling with.