BrewBlog

What's in a Tip?

Something very small but kind of lame happened today that made me feel like a cheap ass.  I was getting coffee at a place I go to frequently, often spending hours there working and taking advantage of their free Wi-Fi.  Of course, I don't feel badly about hanging out there because I always spend money and that's the idea.  I got something to eat, paid, and was about to plop a tip into their little tip bucket when I suddenly hesitated.  Nobody is looking! 

My pause made me realize that my tip was not going to be worth it if nobody saw me put it there.  What kind of crap is that!  I felt cheap because the point of the tip is that they have earned a little extra because of the good job they do and good customer service.  Tips are positive feedback and a little money as part of an industry that rightfully expects it.  Having survived on tips through a majority of my twenties, I of all people should understand that.  Evidently, I've lost sight of that slightly because my desire to have an employee witness my tipping the tip jar proves that the tip is about "me" in my mind.  So lame.  In part, I'm not getting my monies worth unless I get to "take credit" for my measly tip.  "See, I'm tipping", my subconscious is thinking, demanding something in return.  Lame. 

Having realized that on the spot, I quickly threw money in when nobody was looking as a gesture and personal victory in my effort to be a better person.  In summary, the tip is not to make you feel better.  It's also not a bribe to demand special treatment either.  I sometimes have selfish tendencies, partly from being spoiled and also likely from being an only child.  This was a tiny lesson.  Check yourself and see if you can relate.

Angry

My wife's sister and niece stopped by our house the other day to collect some toys accidentally left behind on Easter.  Allison's niece, Hollan, brought one of her friends with her.  Prior to coming over to our house she warned her little friend that her Auntie Allison had a husband and that he looks angry.  Now I knew that I sometimes have a less than amicable appearance and disposition but it cracks me up that a little girl would pick up on it like that.  Funny stuff.  Maybe I need to improve my people skills.

Good Morning

A couple days ago I was awaken in a way that would be unacceptable if from anyone other than my two month old baby son.  In a dead sleep, I felt a light tap on my nose.  Groggy, I open my eye to see a little baby foot an inch or two from my face and felt the tap again as he inadvertently kicks me in the face.  He was eating and kicking his legs.  I was only half awake for about four seconds when he then farted in my face.  his little butt was inches from my face.  Babies don't hold back when they fart.  As a matter of fact, half the time they fart they also blow out their pants with poo.

Anyway, that's all I got today.

Please Don't Talk to Me

I've attended a number of conferences for work over the years.  Going to these things can be really fun when in the mood but can also not be fun at all.  After going to a few of these a pattern starts to take shape.  It's a bit of an encapsulation of real life.  The social people quickly socialize and everyone has their usual role they play when taken out of their routine and plopped into a gathering of people they don't know.  Networking is one of the primary objectives of these things and I totally struggle with it.

Last week I went to a conference in Sacramento, motivated by the need to obtain credits to maintain a professional credential that is threatening to expire on me.  It was two days long and immediately upon arriving in the conference hall, my typical role set in.  I looked for an empty table and thank goodness I found one.  This establishes an advantage in that now people have to sit with me and I don't have to sit with them.  If I sit at a table with anyone sitting at it, I'm likely going to be expected to converse because I've engaged by sitting with them.  But, because I sat first, they are sitting with me, thus negating the need for me to engage. 

I really don't mind talking to people but many times I'd rather not.  I don't know them and will likely never see them again, so what's the point.  Once the event actually gets under way, in typical fashion, I position myself in the back of the room for the presentations.  This is an advantage for a quick escape at the end.  Also, when I have to pee a thousand times because of all the free coffee, it helps to be near the door. 

A funny thing about these conferences is the giveaway crap you insist on grabbing but have absolutely no use for.  Some of the giveaway stuff is really good, like a USB flash drive, backpack, retractable network cable.  But most of it is crap!  But we get it anyway.  Oh I simply must have ANOTHER t-shirt with a dorky company logo on it.  Yes, I really have to have the friggin slinky or mouse pad or beach ball or plastic thing that does literally nothing.  Come to think of it, I'm going to go through my desk at work and purge.  I have a lot of crap stuffed in many drawers and it simply needs to go. 

Despite my little rant, conferences are something I will often look forward to.  It's a day away from my desk that I've sat at for 235234534234532909 hours so far in my life.  It's often times travel to somewhere you have never been or somewhere you like to go.  There is an actual educational value gained.  And, sometimes, cool stuff and always free food and drinks.  Just please don't talk to me.

Original Pancake Ho

I'm easily amused.  My wife was going through our charges and found a debit charge for "The Original Pancake Ho".  A few days ago I took my mom to The Original Pancake House for breakfast and the limited number of letters on our on-line statement cut off the "use" leaving "Ho".  What would The Original Pancake Ho actually be?  Like I said, I'm easily amused.

Alphabet Soup

The acronym utilization at my place of work is asinine.  Anyone in corporate America will likely understand where I'm coming from.  It's always been joked about since I started and probably dates all the way back to the beginning of the company.  At first it's funny or whatever but at this point, many years into my career, it's just annoying.  Almost everything has an acronym associated with it.  Your job is an acronym.  Your organization is an acronym at every level.  Your projects are acronyms.  The building is an acronym.  The site is an acronym.  The region is an acronym.  You get the idea. 

Here's an example:  I'm in a group called PICS, which is in a group called TKS (formerly CICM), which is in a group called EPC (formerly PCS, formerly PCFS, formerly PDS), which is in a group called IT (formerly ISTG, formerly IT).  That ridiculous example is a scratch on the surface since I can't even remember all the name changes over the years.  The renaming tactic is partly to adjust the names of groups and programs to match what work is being attempted and also as a way to refresh identity when a reorganization occurs.  After a while, it just becomes alphabet soup. 

You could seriously introduce yourself to another employee and completely make up an acronym that relates to your job and organization and the person would just nod, stepping right into your bullshit.  "I'm Steve.  I'm a PLD in LSTG.  I'm currently managing the CMJ program, dot-lining (made up corporate America term) into BCM".