This post may not make any sense. Yesterday it was raining very hard. Like most winter days I left the house without a coat or anything warm. Arriving to work about ten minutes late meant parking a fair distance from the guard shack, which is a short distance from the front door. Don't ask why we have an actual guard shack. So I'm sitting in the car, going through the usual shutdown procedure -- turning music down to reasonable level so I don't scare the shit out of myself when I get in the car after work, getting my work badge out of the center console, securing what's left of my coffee from the drive, etc. As I'm about to open the door and step into the very wet outside world, I paused for a moment to consider reaching towards the back of the SUV to grab my umbrella. Whoah.
Here's the thing, I don't use an umbrella, ever. I have an umbrella, the same one for well over ten years, but I have NEVER EVER used it. Oh, I continue to move it each time I get a new car, but other than that, it gets zero attention or use. Someone gave it to me so I felt obligated to put it where I would put it if I were to use it. I don't know why I don't use an umbrella. I have this funny picture I cut out of a San Jose newspaper that is a wide angle shot of a main walking drag at San Jose State University during a busy time between classes. It's raining in the picture and almost everybody has an umbrella, of course, because it's raining. If you look closely at the picture, you can see me walking around without an umbrella, getting soaking wet.
Umbrellas have always seemed unnecessary to me I guess. My hair isn't going to get messed up, my clothes will dry fairly quickly, I don't get cold easily, so what's the point? That just stuck and the idea of using an umbrella simply doesn't cross my mind...at least not until yesterday. For a brief moment, I instinctively paused to consider grabbing the umbrella that was reliably waiting for me to open it for the first time. I didn't actually get the umbrella but it crossed my mind for a very brief moment. Why? Why would I all the sudden feel the need to get my stupid umbrella? I thought about this a few times over the course of the day. Then it occurred to me that this possibly relates to some other things I've noticed about myself lately. Am I getting soft? Is it because I'm getting old? Can I not handle a little rain all the sudden.
This post is probably not making much sense and may require some further exploration, but it's 5:00 and time for me to head out of the office and get home. More on this later...